SKIN AND SUN MEAN SPRING IN THE SIERRA

By Tony Dublino

LONG DOMINATED BY FRINGES OF THE EXHIBITIONIST MOVEMENT, obscure Austrian ski resorts, and a certain season’s end party at Crested Butte, the naked skiing scene is beginning to show itself here in the Sierra. Otherwise normal skiers and boarders who have moved beyond the groomed slopes of Mammoth are now ready to bare it all.

Why? It’s simple. First, it’s the basic reality of our balmy weather and famous spring snow. Second, every backcountry rider shares a not-so-secret desire to bag first descents. Since it would seem that every notable Sierra descent has already been done on AT gear, telemark gear, snowboards and skate skis, there appears to be only one challenge left: ride it nude.

Plus, this is California.

True, we’re still at the stage where dropping an undressed knee down the Checkered Demon couloir could elicit some shock, but as more and more people choose to leave all that superfluous soft shell technology
at the trailhead, it’s slowly entering the mainstream.

Like any activity one performs in the buff, there are some rules that need to be followed. Keep in mind, these are not suggestions to be cavalierly disregarded, like leaving the nuts out of your holiday cookies. You blow off these rules, and you might just end up with some serious damage to your nuts and your cookies:

1. USE PLENTY OF SUNSCREEN. This cannot be stressed enough. Even for those who have dabbled with nudity by laying out naked in their fenced yard only to emerge with a singed pubic region, exposing yourself to the relentless alpine rays and wind is a much greater commitment. The application of sunscreen is so critical that it justifies asking a perfect stranger to help you out, although this request usually requires some delicate phrasing.

2. SKI WELL-CONSOLIDATED SNOW. Don’t try for the holy grail by skiing powder naked. Yes, it’s sooo liberating! The floating, the bouncing and all that, but trust me on this: there are few things in life that can go so wrong, so fast. Simply put, frostbite is bad enough on less critical appendages.

3. DON’T STACK. The thrill of skiing naked can and does take one by surprise. One minute you’re tentative and cautious, the next you are unleashed into a realm of inexplicable ecstasy, with crisp mountain air swirling around you in new and entirely fresh ways, and damn if it doesn’t tickle a little bit and then woops! Hip check. Guess what? Party’s over. At least you’ll have plenty of ice to hold against your strawberry-colored thigh.

4 LEAVE THE AVY GEAR AT HOME. Naked skiers lose big time style points by slinging a shovel, probe and beacon to their otherwise unencumbered bod. If you’re unfortunate enough to get buried while skiing naked, you probably ignored rule #2 anyway, which means you should already have moved on to the next level — naked high altitude mountaineering.

WHERE TO BARE

Finally, the decision must be made — to which Sierra slope will I expose myself? For first timers, it is wise to select something that is relatively easy, and low-traffic. The southeast face of Castle Peak, near Virginia Lakes, seems a good choice, particularly right after the road opens.

For straight-up exhibitionists who hope their descent will end up on YouTube, the choice is clearly Rock Chute on the Sherwins. No other Sierra descent offers so much potential for naked steep skiing within sight of the golfing hordes. Just hope their high-powered optics don’t reveal a seldom-mentioned but prevalent attribute of north-facing naked ski runs: shrinkage.